Sunday, January 20, 2008

She Shucks Seed Shells on the CTA


The pale sunflower seed sucking sixty-something sat in car 2929 of the Redline heading south. She publicly puckers and sputters or spreads her hulls. Some of us have seen her. Segments sail to the rubber railcar floor without care or concern. The signs seething a $300 sentence for litter pigs stare silently, above. Will this salvo to the spineless seed eater subsequently spew CTA scorn?

Perhaps, fifty and frumpy the sallow, yet skillful, seed splitter trashes triumphantly, but if confronted, simply may schpiel about the jobs that she generates from such merciless messes. Upon her evacuation east and south, she leaves hundreds of semilla segments spread over the shiny bear brown rubber floor. The segments subsequently scum up the surroundings with the paw prints of some who had to step on segments slathered in her saliva.

Why are commuters, who are so slimy not subjected to societal service? Would this slatherer of semilla shells suffice for her sins in service to the CTA by scurrying to sanitize CTA sanctums? Do CTA cops care to significantly cite the un-hallowed black and white criminal warnings that grace the graffiti and tan plastic parapets? Will the seed splitter seek subtle internal strife from those gritting in grief? The sanguine signal subsequently starts. . .

"Smoking, littering, and eating are prohibited on all CTA vehicles," wages the warning to the semilla sucking salivator. The savant services her seeds with her teetering teeth tearing them up with contempt for the criminal code.

This faithful replication of what was witnessed in past rides remains raw in the reticulum. Has anyone seen or heard Chicago's finest cite this scalawag seed sucker? Could it be that some advocate for action, some cavorting crusader coax conformity with conviction? Man, she is messy! Must we be in political office before we call 311 or 744-4000. Is it possible to get our civil servants to seek that the semilla seed sister ceases striking again? Maybe, I am stuck scheming so. So. . . seem . . . sit?

1 comment:

Joe said...

Suffering succotash, said story seems saturated sanctimoniously with suggested similes supposing certain services seem sadly less succinct.