Thursday, August 23, 2007

Sire, the Wall Hath Bent; Behold or Perish - Beginning CPR on 2118 W. Touhy

Hark, ye marauding masses, attack! Errect thy fence or you shall perish! Be forewarned, your chattel will be plundered and thy dachsund ravaged by lusty pillagers. Well, it's been about three years and counting, but no plunder has occurred to the lord of this manor. This is what I learned from watching the Cubs on WGN TV in the seventies: TruLink Fence - 5440 Touhy Avenue - http://www.tru-link1.com/.

The dim watt driver who left the bend in your fence long ago has yet to return for a repeat performance. No other uninsured drunk motorist has replicated such impeccably brain dead driving skills at Bell and Touhy. No one has taken much from you, other than pride. The fences condition has reached the neighborhood embarrassment stage, IMHO.

Brother, the war is over! The inebriated masses are in full retreat.* Tear down this wall, Mr. Gorbachev. The neighbors fail to interpret the unnatural curves imposed upon it as anything more than an eyesore. Salvador Dali, it is not! But woe to the "Persistence of Memory."

Now is your chance to show that you care. Pay ye olde fence company down the road to eliminate this mess. Okay, I tried! 2118 W. Touhy to do the rest! "Rampart, we have lost the victim's pulse, beginning CPR."
*-Disclaimer - The photograph used to depict one of the inebriated masses, above, is part of the public domain. I believe that it was taken in Texas, not our beloved Rogers Park. I am told by a more sensitive viewer that there may be some confusion.

3 comments:

Margot Hackett said...

Good Lord!!!! Do I enjoy your posts!!! Witty, charming, revealing and downright funny.

Jocelyn said...

You are soooooooooooo right. That is totally insane that that has been that way for years.

Fargo said...

That fence has been an embarrassment for waaayyy too many years.